an edit

alex:
i have to edit the comment i wrote on your blog about fav bands
here are mine:
jack johnson (even tho he's not really a band, he's only one person)
coldplay
beatles

Do you ever get that feeling?

That you just want to meet someone new?
even if you don't want to be bffs
just someone new
to have a good time with
to hang out with
just for a little while
and then maybe you'll have a nice memory to hang onto for a while

something to think about when you're mad about everything
"hmm, that was fun, i wonder where that person is right now?"

i want to meet new people
i want to expand the horizon
i want to expand my horizon
i want to be me again
i want to be out of middle school
i want to feel original
like i once did

i want a lot of things

I'm not sure I want to do this anymore

Comment Moderation

hahahaha
love it

sorry that was random

making up words

i just came up with a new phrase!

word rich

oh yes, it's wonderful
i know

anyway, you know when you're reading something
and have to read it like three times before it will "go down"

then, whatever you are reading is word rich

amazing right?

i have been having the weirdest sensation lately

i'll feel like there's pressure on my throat

and i'll reach up
to brush away my necklace
or my shirt
and there won't be anything there

and it honestly feels like i'm being strangled or something

but only i could be strangled by nothing

insecurities

why am i such a misfit sometimes?

even when i'm surrounded by people i love
i feel like i don't fit in with the picture

looking at those silly pics we took
the three of you looking so gorgeous
you can see your personalities coming right out
and i'm just standing in the background

and when you said that:
"oh i love this picture!...except for gina's face"
i know you were just kidding
but it seemed true
i'm just standing there
and you guys are all making hilarious faces

but that's always been me
i'm the one who's really insecure
the only thing i seem to know how to do
is get good grades
and sometimes
i even fail at that

i'm the one who's afraid to let loose
i get mad about things that others don't care about
my clothes are never quite right
my hair never really doing the right thing
the one who constantly worries about what other people are thinking
why do i just feel different sometimes?
because i know everyone should be different,
but this doesn't feel like a good kind of different

i wish there was something that i could do really well
that other people would be slightly amazed when i told them i could do that
i mean, sure i play violin, but i'm not that great
and no one in school really cares about that because it's not "cool"

that's why i wish my mom would let me take riding lessons
because when you're on a horse
and you're really into it
totally one with the other animal
it is the most amazing feeling in the world
besides, when you're riding, even the smallest accomplishments are big
"wow, you have a great sitting trot,"
"yay! she didn't run you out the door!" (haha, sunny you bad bunny)
"alright, i'm going to trust you cantering alone in the ring"

if i could become really good at riding, that would be a true accomplishment to me
because to me,
that feeling
the barn
the swallows swooping over your head
the smell of hay and horses
the sound of hooves
the feel of the swaying gait

that,
to me,
is
perfect