traitor

"come on in for the real thing"
he says
as i get up to give him a hug

i sit down again
there is another wave of goodbyes
and he walks away
gone to play basketball
or something
idk

but as i watch him go
black jacket
baseball hat
that funny way of walking
i feel like a traitor

no, that's not the right word for it
i just, i felt like there was a war going on
a very polite war, but a war just the same
she's trying to push him away
he's trying to remain steadfastly where he is

and we don't bother her about it
it was her choice
and she made it
but at the same time
we still meet with him
i facebook him
he calls and talks to mom
asks dad if there will be a wiffleball game soon

it's just a wierd feeling
like we're on a covert op.
and she might suspect that we're still in touch with him
and doesn't care
but if she actually had any hard proof
she might blow up in our faces

so we don't really talk about it with her
we let her move on
and keep our friendship with him moving
but secret
in a way
which is wierd
because she's halfway around the world now
and wouldn't be able to do much about it anyway